dieORlive?

March 26, 2005 (GREENLAND): Every thing you said melted my heart. Every step you took broke me in so many pieces it would have took times end to put me back together. Do you know why I loved you so much?
     Some days you'd come over just to say, "hey." Other days you'd come over and all you'd do is go to my door, look at me and smile. Then you would walk away. What was that for? I liked that. It was something different.
     It always seemed that you were looking for something and it was holding onto you like some tornado that wouldn't stop. My heart was weak because of you. I loved how... you never needed me. Never once! You'd say, "hey." Yeah, we'd go out. We'd hang out at the park, but then... You never seemed to need me. Thats what I loved about you. It wasn't that you would tell people all the time how much you loved me and couldn't take your eyes off of me. No, it wasn't that. I'm sure because I never heard you say that anyways.
     I loved how you loved me so much that when we kissed your knees gave out and you fell all over me. I knew you were falling over me not because you actually fell all over me but when your knees gave way... your breath would change and I could hear your heart fade away into that tornado that you were searching for. Thats what always seems to find me when I sometimes get lost in the day. I usually get lost in the night though. But, you knew that. Thats why you'd come over throughout the night and sit with me. That was something else.
     I wasn't sure what you were doing by my house that one day. You were just standing there and staring at a tree. I was really feeling bad for you. I couldn't do anything though. That crushed me. It crushed me like I was in one of your tornados. But, we both know that your life is a tornado and you need something that... whatever it is that you're after I'm only holding you back. I was that day, and I would be today. If I was an author you'd be my secret pen name.
     You walked right up to your brother. Yeah, I was going out with him and you knew that already. You're like some cosmic anomoly. I could hold you forever in a kiss. I loved you forever in a kiss. We both know we died in that kiss.
     When you saw your brother with me I saw your face. It was something I had never seen in you before and you went over there and you wouldn't stop. You wouldn't stop! What did you expect me to do? Did you expect me to kiss you? If I did I would have died.