dieORlive?

March 22, 2005 (AUSTRALIA): Looking through my bedroom window, I used to hope that you would return. You were everything to me when we were growing up. I remember how we used to hang out and laugh all day. Those were fun days! I'm so happy for those days. It makes me feel good just thinking about times like that.
     Then... what I hoped my entire life came true; you had come back. I was so happy! You meant the world to me in the early years of my life. You were so much fun to be around. We laughed so much. I was so lucky to be your friend. We had everything and we were the greatest friends the world had ever never seen. I'm not so sure you understand this right now. I'm not so sure I understand this either.
     We were such good friends at school, after school, and everywhere. Those were by far the best days of my life. I hope you know that because its true.
     Then, you came home to me... after 2 1/2 years without even hearing your voice. You disappeared. I think you were talking about going off to war but that was such a long while ago... you were 7 when you said that. I was 5, but I still remember every word. "I'm going to join the war to help people. I want to fight to keep the world good so we can be friends forever." That was such a sweet thing to say... especially at age 7!
     You came back after being gone for 2 1/2 years... You were 23 and I, I was 21. I thought that you knew me when you said, "Hello." I guess I was wrong. Why did you have to kill everyone I know? You shot everyone. You shot my new friends. You shot my old friends. Then you looked at me in the eyes and said, "Natalie, I've seen things no one should ever see in their lives. Goodbye, Natalie."
     I would be giving you this story, my love, but you shot yourself in front of me that day. So, I write to you now... You know I can't forgive you for killing everyone I know. I forgive you as a friend though. But, as that man that came into that bank that day... no, I can never forgive that man. I'm sorry. I don't know that man. I never knew that man. I hoped that I did, then maybe he'd still be alive and I'd still have friends. I'd still have my one true love... the one that got away. I'd still be happy. But, William, why did you call me Natalie? My name isn't, Natalie. You know that. Where were you those 2 1/2 years? I don't think it matters anymore. We had good times. I just hoped that we could have known eachother more. I had to move to Australia. I'm crying now, did you know that William?