dieORlive?

March 31, 2005 (ALASKA): "I don't know who I am and you're the only one who see's that. I can't ask these questions that can't be answered today... and even if everything goes wrong and we start to fall apart, I will understand where you are. I will understand this by myself. And I don't need to hear your answer... am I still breathing? Have I lost this feeling? I don't know who I am and you're the only one who see's that... and how far have we come to... I have to ask what we are but if I ask today it just wont last... will we ever feel this real again?"-Trapt, "...not today."
     I keep listening to these lyrics over and over, and over and over in my head like some constance thats taking its toll on me. I'm going mad. Its all some part of a... if I knew what I was saying I wouldn't even be writting it! Why would someone write anyways if they already have the answer? People don't write for other people for the fun of it... not the people that say they do. I mean, hey, I bet there's someone reading this going, "yeah, I'm like that. I listen." Thank you. That was what I needed to make a point on. It really doesn't matter that I did. But, since I did... thank you.
     People are by nature crude and malicious. Yeah, it may seem like that's such a FALSE statement, but who are you to say that? Yesterday you beat someone up. Yesterday you took an extra paper from the news stand but only decided to pay for one of them. Yesterday you had a cup of coffee on your bosses tab. Yesterday you though about having no boss...but you didn't think about working for it. Yesterday you broke a nail and asked, "Why must I be punished?" See... this is exactly my point! Shut up!!! It makes no sense why someone would complain about themselves. Especially for things like this. What type of world is this? Can one clearly see the watermarks of leagues of those whom came before and truely say that the path taken today is the dreams and courages of those that have passed? I think not. Time changes. People change. Motivation is in the eyes of time. Motivate me and I will show you what becomes of time. The world is a reality of its own inclination, built on leaves and arches that accumulate themselves on broken daggers in an infinate domain of branches.
     If this is what the world has become of... where is time headed? Time... if I had the time. !!!!! Had the time!!!!! Everyone has the time. Its those that say, "If I had the time," That I really can't stand. Its called, "Making the time." What is the world for if not to amaze, captivate, inspire, and propell? I sleep with my head toward the stars and my mind drifting past on some... I would tell you, but you're not here to listen. You'd like to have your say.
     Thank you.