dieORlive?

Saturday-March 28, 2005 (ENGLAND): Today the world was a bit more gray than it had been before. It wasn't much of a day to hold forever and never let go. It was one of those days where everything seemed a little sideways. That came to me somehow. Somehow. Today was March 26, 2005... yet, it wasn't. As I write this it is technically the 26th. but time has gone and jumped itself to the 28th. I'm not sure how this happened. Its something that if I knew how it was like it is I would only be more confused. Today was a confusing day. It was one of those days that holds itself past the other days in its own field. And this field was gray. Have I ever seen such a field before? I couldn't answer that one. Maybe I could, but something inside of me was would hate myself if I did.
     I didn't know what I was thinking. Mostly, I assumed I was dreaming... why else would I be in England on such a day? England wasn't supposed to be like this. I assumed England was something completely different. It seemed I must have been caught wrong.
     Where was I? All I knew then was that I had been laying beside a sidewalk staring into the gutter. Was I homeless? No. But, I'd hoped that sometimes.
     I stared into that gutter for a while that seemed like an eternity if an eternity could be bottled and sold then dropped upon a sidewalk to lay itself upon some street gutter. This day was mostly a daze for me. It wasn't even day at all though. It was night. I was in England, and it was night. Sooo night. I remember as I stared into that gutter I was thinking, "Maybe its time to stop my journey... maybe the adventure is over." The world was so torn and I felt so broken. I felt like... no, I didn't. I didn't feel like dying. I was... ahh. I wasn't anything to feel that way. How could I feel like dying? I wasn't alive. I was living... but, to live, must one also be alive?
     Just then a light from the distant road stood out upon the broken street corner, cracks and all... in someways how I felt. In someways how I was. I walked up to this light and picked it up revealing a flashlight. A flashlight?! That became the one thing that I needed, it turned out. A flashlight; it was dark out and I needed something to lighten the trail I was on. Thats when I saw a rat... or maybe it was a mouse. It crawled across the sidewalk searching for something... maybe it was food. I wasn't sure... maybe it was searching for the search. Do rats do that? hmm... I couldn't answer that one. It could have been because earlier that same day... not so long earlier, a dog attacked me. Yeah, not so much attacked me as bit me. Did I care? Not so much. It was really brave of that dog to do. I wonder if I was a dog, would I bite someone thats over 10 times bigger than I was? I couldn't answer that one. I was hoping it was a yes but you could never tell I assumed.
     Well, that rat or mouse or whatever it was had been behind me because I was walking by this time... so I turned around. Hey, who would have guessed it! David Letterman; standing there. I wondered why that was. He had nothing to say though. It was odd. I'd expect some advice or something. He seemed to have all the tips... well, from past countries I had visited it seemed he had all the angles covered. Why wasn't he saying anything? I guessed it was because some things I got to figure out on my own.