dieORlive?

Sunday-March 27, 2005 (USA): Well, when I found out that all of that was a dream, it really bugged me. Yeah. It sort of ticked me off! I wasn't searching for an antidote for memory loss. I wasn't being attacked by lions... chased by rats that looked like battleships. No!! Although, now that I recollect upon it... that might have been an adventure. But, it wasn't. It wasn't an adventure. It wasn't even a mission. It was no more than something as much as it was nothing.
     I was still confused. I was so damn confused out of my mind. This was really killing me. After it all was over, I was thinking to myself, "Maybe it would have been fun if this was all real. Then I could have actually done something... I could have went on an adventure. An adventure? Hmm... sounds like an idea.
     Just then I got off of the couch and put the channel changer down. It was time to stop watching the, "Late Shows" on televison at night. It was really taking its tole on me. I was completely disolved into the media and if I could even thing about it I'd say I... ...well, I don't know what I'd say. I can't really remember. I was staring into the screen of my television for so many years, it just made sense to keep doing that. Ahh... I needed to get out. No more late night TV! I needed to find something else to get me through the day. Thats when I realized it! I had an epiphany! I didn't need to find something else to get me through the day... That was the whole problem... "Finding something to get through the day with." That shouldn't be how it is. I should have been finding things and looking, searching, not to get me through the day but to make the day. I was asleep my entire life. I was asleep this whole time. I'm asleep now.
     "Goodnight..." A voice said. And this time it wasn't the television talking...I was living life. Hmm... Maybe I should have cared that the voice came from across the room... I wasn't concerned though. I was being robbed by that voice. I was being robbed for every penny I had in my pockets. But, that wasn't my biggest concern at the time. I was thinking, "Hey, I wonder what else is going to happen." And, other stuff did happen. I got married...had kids... payed taxes... ...and died. THE END. Nothing in-between. Thats the cover-story to my basic existence. But, hey... I'm thinking it was fun. Yeah. A long time ago. Maybe I'll live again. Maybe. If I could get up and actually go on an adventure. I've been standing around for 30 years thinking about adventures and what I could be doing I never really got up and done any. One. Maybe, one. But that was getting the mail. I've done that twice now. I guess I could try going somewhere I've never really been before. That'll be kind of scary.
     It'll be an adventure though. "I wonder if David Letterman would think so?" I was thinking to myself as I turned the ignition on my car and drove off. I wasn't going to be back to watch the "Late Show"that night. It was the first night I hadn't watched that show since as far as I could remember. Good thing I was taping it.=[